Why I Started This Blog

January 20, 2020


"...And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”  Esther 4:14 (Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition)

My name is Barbara Graver Wilder. I'm a writer, etsy shop owner and mom to three grownup sons.

I started this blog after a life changing trip to Israel in December 2019. Over the course of that trip I reread the book of Esther. Twice.

It was odd choice of reading.  Because, the truth was, I had never liked Esther. Now I realized why. In some ways, Esther's childhood experience paralleled mine. Her powerlessness as vulnerable young girl in a patriarchal society had simply hit too close to home.

On the plane to Tel Aviv I reread the Book of Esther with a new sense of appreciation and then I read it again in between the events that affected me so profoundly over the course of my trip.

In Israel I saw what it meant to survive as a people. And somehow in relation to that I started to understand what survival meant to Esther. And to me.

Looking at it through that lens, I saw that while my own story was smaller than Esther's it was bigger than what other people might have to say about it. So, when I got home, I decided it was time to find my voice, as Esther had, and I decided to do it through writing.

I began to study the craft of writing and work on some of my old orphaned manuscripts.  I still didn't feel comfortable about sharing what I was writing so I decided to test the waters through blogging.


UPDATE March 2020

For the first months of the new year I spent a lot of time writing.

As I wrote I processed my trip to Israel. I thought about the ancient cathedrals I had visited in Jerusalem and the way they had spoken to me. I journaled. I read the bible.  I took a good hard look at my past and everything that had brought me to that particular point in time. Physically. Emotionally. Socially.

And then, I walked a few blocks down my own street to complete the 20 year journey that brought me back to the Catholic church.

In the days and weeks that followed, I realized that there was a lot I didn't know about the Catholic faith and had never taken the time to learn. I began to fill in the blanks and decided to share some of what I was learning here.

But I remembered Esther and the idea of finding my voice so I wanted to be sure that the blog was about writing too.
For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place... Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”  - Esther 4:14 NKJV

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